Phew! The standoff is OVER!! Everything is happy and back to normal. We fell asleep last night holding each other's hands as has been our thing since I moved back in. The huge weight that has been on our chests for the last few days has been lifted! How did we do it?
I was out shopping, which is another pet peeve of his, so I did it just to get under his skin. However, I just couldn't do it. Everything I wanted to splurge on, I heard his voice, him hurt over me spending the money that is supposed to go towards fixing up the backyard. I realized how childish this whole thing was and that someone needed to go first, since I knew it wouldn't be him, I figured it should be me.
I saw these Mega Stuf Oreos. The only two sweet things he loves are brownies and Oreos (and me, but I digress.) So I picked up this package (and BTW, there is too much stuf - crazy I know, but really there is, double stuf is truly the perfect amount). I intended to give it to him as a peace offering of sorts. Then I saw the greeting cards and thought that I should get a card regarding my love for him/sorry I got angry kind of card. I searched for the perfect card for almost an hour, finally found one that had a porcupine on the front and said "why do I love you so much?" on the inside it said " because you love me even when I'm a little prickly." It was cute, not too mushy, which is not our style, and got the point across that I know I was irritable and got overly angry. Decided not to mention his part in the fight because pointing fingers doesn't work.
I got home gave him the card, put the ores on the counter, and gave him time to read my note. We then talked a little and worked things out and it was like the last few days had never happened. I finally let go of the anger and resentment I had in my heart and was able to enjoy my family again.
My lesson from this is that I need to choose to let go of the anger and resentment, choose compassion and understanding instead. For instance, if he is irritable, I shouldn't let it affect me so much, he may be going through something on the inside and might just need to talk it out.
Look I created a life lesson photo! I'm so proud of myself! I think I'll save these and make a little book for each of my children to use as well.