Somethings just never settle right with me

I want to write about something which has been playing on my mind for a few weeks now. Something that scares me so much, it makes me question everything I know about the world.

When The Sandy Hook Massacre happened, I, like all my fellow Americans, was shaken to my core. I held my children a little tighter that night, and cried on Christmas morning for the families that had presents but no children to open them. I literally found myself shaking from crying so hard, randomly, in the middle if my hectic day, some three weeks after the shootings. Then something else crossed my mind, er, well, my newsfeed rather.

Stories of conspiracies started filling my newsfeed. Proof was right in front of my eyes that the whole thing was done by paid actors, paid by our government, just to get Americans on the right side of gun control. My jaw dropped, I got a bit angry, I almost posted up a ranting status about it, before realizing I can't believe everything that I read on the Internet. So, I took a few deep breaths and shook it off.

Now, although I was able to shake it off at that moment, I am still being tormented by the possibility of it all. What else has happened that could have also been a conspiracy? I used to laugh at people who lived in bomb shelters and hid among archives of supposed truths. People who spun off government conspiracies and truly believed them to be nothing but the absolute verified truth. Now, I understand them, to a slightly still sane degree.

I question if maybe, just maybe, Sandy Hook was really fake, and if it was, what else could be fake? What else has our government schemed up to stir the emotions of a gullible American public? We have lived in a world where a famous model tells us that she can't go anywhere without her favorite designer bag, which cost $13,000, and therefore a bunch of young suggestible women run out and break their bank accounts to buy the same bag. We are a very suggestible nation. Too suggestible. So it leaves the possibility of the government using our highly suggestible minds to get more people on their side of a certain issue. So possible, that I really want to believe it to be true.

Maybe I want it to be true because I don't want to think of all those children missing out on Christmas. It gives me hope that no one was really lost at the hand of an insane man. However, as much as I want to believe in this conspiracy theory, I can not. Yes, it's possible, but doubtful.

Nightmares happen everyday in this day and age, nightmares that we can't control. Nightmares like Sandy Hook and 9-11, that, although it would be a relief to find out were all just staged by our government, were really truly unfortunate events that took many unnecessary lives. Lives of mothers and fathers, aunt and uncles, grandparents, and yes, even innocent children. Children who will never get the chance to know who they could become. It is for them, that I pray, may their souls be at rest, may they be comforted by the number of people who now know their names, know they existed, and know that they were amazing little kids, who will always be innocent and loved.